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Author Topic: Wrong Cruise Ship!
Malcolm @ cruisepage
Cruise Director
Member # 301

posted 08-04-2000 03:18 PM      Profile for Malcolm @ cruisepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
OK here's a new fun thread. I will start it off...

"You know that you have chosen the wrong cruise ship when..."

[This message has been edited by Malcolm (edited 08-05-2000).]


Posts: 19210 | From: Essex (Just Outside London) | Registered: A Long Time Ago!  |  IP: Logged
Malcolm @ cruisepage
Cruise Director
Member # 301

posted 08-04-2000 03:20 PM      Profile for Malcolm @ cruisepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
When you have packed your Tuxedo, but find that the other passengers think that formal dress means cut-off jeans and a clean T-shirt!
Posts: 19210 | From: Essex (Just Outside London) | Registered: A Long Time Ago!  |  IP: Logged
koch
First Class Passenger
Member # 1483

posted 08-04-2000 03:44 PM      Profile for koch   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
when you get escorted to your cabin and after opening the door there is no bed in your cabin and the toilet bowl is missing
(real happenings in nov. 99 on a classic ship)

Posts: 138 | From: all over the 7 seas | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged
Mauretania
First Class Passenger
Member # 1486

posted 08-04-2000 04:13 PM      Profile for Mauretania     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
When the captain refers to the ship as "the boat"!
Posts: 39 | From: Los Angeles, CA | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged
topgun
First Class Passenger
Member # 928

posted 08-04-2000 05:01 PM      Profile for topgun     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
When I climb the boarding ramp and find a mass of 10 to 14 year old kids sent especially to greet me aboard.

[This message has been edited by topgun (edited 08-04-2000).]


Posts: 759 | From: Burlington ont,canada Cruise center of North America | Registered: Nov 1999  |  IP: Logged
Mercy
First Class Passenger
Member # 322

posted 08-04-2000 09:55 PM      Profile for Mercy     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
When you get up to the pool and realize you are on the "Nudest Cruise" and everyone is NAKED!!!
Posts: 697 | From: Stanwood, Wa. USA | Registered: Sep 99  |  IP: Logged
Barryboat
First Class Passenger
Member # 33

posted 08-04-2000 11:16 PM      Profile for Barryboat   Author's Homepage   Email Barryboat   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
The Captain is called the Skipper and his first mate is Gilligan.
Posts: 1851 | From: Bloomington, Minnesota (Home to the Mall of America) | Registered: Mar 99  |  IP: Logged
topgun
First Class Passenger
Member # 928

posted 08-05-2000 08:35 AM      Profile for topgun     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
When the table waiter delivers your entree with his thumb stuck in the mashed potato.
He explains that the doctor has told him to keep the injury warm.

Posts: 759 | From: Burlington ont,canada Cruise center of North America | Registered: Nov 1999  |  IP: Logged
Premier
First Class Passenger
Member # 1463

posted 08-05-2000 10:25 AM      Profile for Premier     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
When you find out the ship was not refurbished since the 50's or 60's.
Posts: 64 | From: New Jersey(Birthplace of the Emerald Seas) | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged
Ascendancy
First Class Passenger
Member # 840

posted 08-05-2000 10:25 AM      Profile for Ascendancy   Email Ascendancy   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
When the cruise staff are wearing the Carnival emblems.
Posts: 354 | From: Aurora, CO | Registered: Oct 1999  |  IP: Logged
cruznut6
First Class Passenger
Member # 543

posted 08-05-2000 10:33 AM      Profile for cruznut6   Author's Homepage   Email cruznut6   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
When your're the only English speaking pax and you noticed there aren't any life-boats;0

Bob


Posts: 161 | From: Mount Laurel, NJ, USA | Registered: Apr 99  |  IP: Logged
PORTER
First Class Passenger
Member # 1414

posted 08-05-2000 11:12 AM      Profile for PORTER     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
When you board the ship and realize that Kathy Lee Gifford is the only entertainment for the week
Posts: 23 | From: washington st. usa | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged
Mercy
First Class Passenger
Member # 322

posted 08-05-2000 11:15 AM      Profile for Mercy     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
These posts are tooooooo funny

[This message has been edited by Mercy (edited 08-05-2000).]


Posts: 697 | From: Stanwood, Wa. USA | Registered: Sep 99  |  IP: Logged
Malcolm @ cruisepage
Cruise Director
Member # 301

posted 08-05-2000 02:54 PM      Profile for Malcolm @ cruisepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
When the captain is British and called "Smith"!

When you realize that the brouchure's description of "a friendly and atmospheric ship" actually translates as "small and crowded"!


Posts: 19210 | From: Essex (Just Outside London) | Registered: A Long Time Ago!  |  IP: Logged
topgun
First Class Passenger
Member # 928

posted 08-05-2000 05:03 PM      Profile for topgun     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
When I find the builders plate and see it was constructed by "THE LEE KEE SHIPYARD"
Posts: 759 | From: Burlington ont,canada Cruise center of North America | Registered: Nov 1999  |  IP: Logged
Bernard
First Class Passenger
Member # 1038

posted 08-05-2000 05:13 PM      Profile for Bernard     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
When you find out the price for a coca cola is $ 13.50 and a heineken or grolsch $ 22.25
Posts: 94 | From: The Netherlands | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
CrusinAngel
Just Boarded
Member # 1453

posted 08-06-2000 01:30 AM      Profile for CrusinAngel     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
When the "fun" ship turns into a flaming ship!
Posts: 8 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged
topgun
First Class Passenger
Member # 928

posted 08-06-2000 10:46 AM      Profile for topgun     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
When the cruise director says "will all those from New York City identify themselves"? and everybody stands up.
Posts: 759 | From: Burlington ont,canada Cruise center of North America | Registered: Nov 1999  |  IP: Logged
Rex
First Class Passenger
Member # 1113

posted 08-06-2000 12:49 PM      Profile for Rex     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
When the captain asks for directions....

When the bagels served at the breakfast buffet could also do double duty as anchor chains...


Posts: 1413 | From: Philadelphia PA, USA | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
JohnM
First Class Passenger
Member # 1246

posted 08-07-2000 05:33 AM      Profile for JohnM   Author's Homepage   Email JohnM   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
When you see the rats leaving just as you're boarding.

Rex, was that a lady captain? Opps, wrong thread!

[This message has been edited by JohnM (edited 08-07-2000).]


Posts: 40 | From: Georgia, USA | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
jeff
First Class Passenger
Member # 614

posted 08-09-2000 03:59 AM      Profile for jeff     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
after you board you finally notice cattle instead of passengers..lololol
Posts: 180 | From: vancouver,b.c.,canada | Registered: Jun 99  |  IP: Logged
Malcolm @ cruisepage
Cruise Director
Member # 301

posted 08-09-2000 03:09 PM      Profile for Malcolm @ cruisepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
..when you get a letter three days before the sailing date saying: that on the previous cruise 140 people suffered gastro-enteritis, but don't worry about it!

(This happend to me today!)


Posts: 19210 | From: Essex (Just Outside London) | Registered: A Long Time Ago!  |  IP: Logged
Mercy
First Class Passenger
Member # 322

posted 08-09-2000 09:13 PM      Profile for Mercy     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Malcolm... Oh Dear! Which ship?
Posts: 697 | From: Stanwood, Wa. USA | Registered: Sep 99  |  IP: Logged
Rex
First Class Passenger
Member # 1113

posted 08-09-2000 09:31 PM      Profile for Rex     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
John, you are SO bad...
Posts: 1413 | From: Philadelphia PA, USA | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
Malcolm @ cruisepage
Cruise Director
Member # 301

posted 08-10-2000 06:51 AM      Profile for Malcolm @ cruisepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Fred Olsen's 'Black watch'. A four star ship which operates from Dover, UK. I don't think we can blame the cruise line.

It has been established that the outbreak of gastro-enteritis on this shipis due to a virus and NOT food poisening. When the ship reaches port it will be 'fumigated'.

A Disney ship had a similar problem earlier in the year. Viruses love ships, they have a captive audience!


Posts: 19210 | From: Essex (Just Outside London) | Registered: A Long Time Ago!  |  IP: Logged

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